Being a parent is hard. Like, really hard. What am I doing wrong?
We’re having a rough couple of days in our household. TinyHuman hasn’t been feeling well and as a result will only contact nap. Even then, he doesn’t stay sleeping for long because he’s woken up by a tummy ache.
Turns out there is nothing worse as a parent, than knowing that your child is in pain and not being able to make them feel better.
It’s exhausting, having a baby who will only stop crying when he’s lying on your chest. It’s beautiful, it really is, knowing that you are the one thing that is making them feel better when they feel awful- you are their safe space. However the novelty of that beautiful feeling begins to wear off when you’re desperate to pee, or eat, or anything really, but as soon as you lift that baby… BOOM! Awake and crying.
I’m exhausted.
It’s been over 24 hours since this began with TinyHuman, and I am over it. I’m still wearing the same super sexy cookie monster pyjamas that I put on two days ago, I’m in desperate need of a shower and I’d chop off my leg for a proper home cooked meal made by someone other than me or the Man.
We’ve spent hours upon hours holding TinyHuman close and pacing up and down, around the entire house to try and comfort him. Tagging in and out so that we can pee or give our backs a break. The second we stop moving or dare to sit down, he’s crying again. Since he was born I’ve had plenty of MummyMeltdowns and the Man has had his fair share too… but yesterday it happened. The fully blown, full parental meltdown.
The Man and I sat on our bed, holding a screaming baby and crying down the phone to my Mum. What am I doing wrong?
What am I doing wrong?
Nothing. TinyHuman is fed, changed, loved, and cherished.
“Most illnesses don’t have society making you feel guilty about raising a child while sick. Mental health conditions, though, make the guilt huge – it’s as if others think you have a choice in it.”
MIND
Sometimes, parenting feels like the you’re trying to empty the ocean with a bucket. It doesn’t matter how hard you’re trying, you just don’t feel as though you’re getting anywhere. It’s important to remember the bigger picture. These days are hard, but we will get through them.
What am I doing wrong?
Sometimes my biggest mistake is not reaching out for help. It’s allowing myself to drown under the weight of my struggles. On days like this, TinyHuman’s cries just pierce right through me and make me feel as though I’m useless.
What kind of Mum can’t comfort her child? A sh*t one… No!
I am not a sh*t Mum, I just feel that way.
That’s okay. It’s okay to feel like a sh*t Mum. Feeling like one doesn’t mean I am one. Worrying that I’m not good enough for TinyHuman is part of what makes me a good Mum. I’m just a good Mum who’s struggling.
