I mention the man in my life frequently, but it’s rare that I talk specifically about him. I’m unsure why this is, probably because I hate all things soppy.
Josh and I met in June 2020, after months of talking on Tinder (classy, I know!). It moved quickly, and by September we basically lived together. Josh moving in was rough to start with, I’d become very accustomed to having my own space. I liked my personal space, Josh also liked my personal space.
Josh’s brain moves a million miles a minute, often too fast for the rest of him to catch up. It’s normal to walk into a room and find all of the cupboards open, where he’s started a task, done the key element, and then instantly moved onto the next. To start with, I tolerated this well.
We found out that we were having a baby a year to the date that we matched on Tinder. We were not prepared to be parents, at all. We’d discussed what we thought our life together might look like, but we never considered that it might include children or marriage.
Pregnancy was not for me, I’m open about that. But if we’re being honest… me being pregnant wasn’t for him either. How Josh survived the pregnancy I have no idea, pregnancy made me evil and he always took the brunt of it. Josh did everything that he could possibly do to ensure that I was comfortable and cared for throughout my pregnancy and I hated him for existing.
Every day I’d be calling my Mum absolutely furious “remind me, why I love him cause if you can’t I’m packing his f*cking bags!”, she’d ask why and my answer was always ridiculous. Every day she’d have to remind that all of these “flaws” that I was moaning about had always been present, and that he was the man I chose. In the beginning of the third trimester I became very self aware, and tried my utmost to be kinder to people both, and to see the bigger picture.
With this in mind, I paid close attention to the support that Josh showed me and honestly I was in awe, how was he putting up with my sh*t!? As the due date drew nearer, Josh became more and more nervous about being a good father.
We’re getting married!!!
10 days before TinyHuman came earthside, Josh asked me if I would marry him. Well in his own beautifully awkward way. For context- one of the first things I said to Josh after I threw the pregnancy test at him was “you’re not allowed to ask me to marry you”. It’s also important to note that this was in no way because I didn’t want to marry him, but because I didn’t want him to panic and ask me to marry him because it was the ‘done thing’.
So on December 18th 2021, we’re driving along and I can see that he is getting visibly fidgety. I asked him what was going on, he looked at me nervously and went “am I allowed to ask you to marry me yet? I really want too but I’m really nervous that if I do then you’ll say no!”. Involuntarily, I laughed at him. I told him that if he wanted to ask me to marry him, then I would be okay with that. He chuckled nervously and went “oh sh*t, now I have to plan it… wait do I have to plan it…? wait, what if I do it wrong? shi*t this is stressful”, again, I laughed before he sheepishly said “can we count this as me asking?”. I put him out of his misery and agreed. So then he panicked about the ring, what if he chose the wrong ring? What if I hated it? So. Much. Stress.
Although this kind of stress was understandable, I am a fussy mare when it comes to jewelry, so together we went to the jewelers. Josh picked out a bunch of rings that he liked, and I chose my perfect ring from the bunch. We came out of the shop and I put it on, he looks at me and goes “I guess this means we’re engaged?”… I guess it does.
On December 28th the Man became a father. It was incredible. Watching Josh become a parent has been the most beautiful experience, he takes care of TinyHuman and I with such love. In those first two weeks, we lived inside our new baby bubble and I fell more and more in love with him every day. I told him this before he went back to work, but I struggled to find the words, he looked at me and told me that he’d never loved or respected anyone more than he did me following the birth of TinyHuman. We spent the days soaking in the love that was just pouring out of us both for each other and for TinyHuman- it was the most beautiful time of my life so far.
And that is why I don’t often speak of my relationship with The Man… it’s soppy and gross, but it’s true. A vital part of TinyHuman’s village, The Man is one of the most important people in our lives.
