I thought wedding planning would be the most wonderful experience. Whenever anyone talks about it, they talk of planning their dream day and how wonderful that is, eagerly counting down the days… but does everyone else feel this much stress?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s super exciting! I get to marry my best friend, it’s so insane to think that we’re getting married! We’ve found our dream location at Cornish Tipi Weddings after seeing their blogs online and in pictures from other people’s weddings. We are going to view this beautiful venue to hopefully secure our date, we can’t wait!
There are so many factors to take into account, and as someone who hasn’t even had their special day yet there is no way for me to know them all. So check out this post from Our Derbyshire Wedding to see how they planned their wedding and made the most of all of their favourite local businesses!
It’s not all fun and games though…
As well as being exciting, I am equally finding it extremely anxiety-inducing. There’s so many “what ifs” and so much to think about. When there is so much that can go so horribly wrong, it’s hard not to stress.
What am I going to wear!?
One of the biggest things that I am finding stressful, is deciding what kind of dress I would like. I have always struggled with self image and my weight generally, but now I find myself struggling with my post-baby body.
Scrolling through websites for ideas on styles and shapes, I notice that all of the models are “traditionally beautiful”. I’m not seeing any plus size or alternative brides unless I look specifically for those things and then I’m looking at a ridiculous price tag.
Why!?
Why can’t I find a dress that’s ticks all my boxes? I need a dress that isn’t traditional and elegant, one that won’t have me feeling insecure and one that certainly won’t swallow our entire wedding budget! I want to spend my day feeling beautiful and not panicking that I look a mess.
Should we invite them?
We want to share our day with all of our friends and family. Our Village and everybody else that we hold dear, however…
The Man and I are two very different people, with very different friends and very different family. We don’t like the same people and we don’t dislike the same people. So I can’t imagine one event full of all these extremely different people, with extremely different thoughts and opinions, all together in one place.
What if my family hates his family? What if someone who thinks farts are hilarious ends up next to someone who thinks farts are disgusting? What if there is an argument? I don’t want us to spend our day worrying about keeping certain people away from each other or having to play referee for family members and friends. Nope. Not on our day.
What do we do when we’ve invited someone that we wish we hadn’t? Or when we realise that because we’ve invited all of those people out of obligation, we now don’t have enough space for those we really want there?
Everybody has an opinion.
As much as it is our day, we want everybody invited to have a good time and enjoy themselves, but that’s easier said than done. Especially when everyone is so opinionated about everything.
The food for example, everyone has dietary requirements of some kind. You try to accommodate everyone as best you can, but there’s always someone who’s unhappy and has to make a fuss. How can we get it right for everyone?
What if I get it all wrong and everyone laughs or takes the p*ss?
What if it all goes wrong?
What if I regret doing or not doing something? I (hopefully) don’t get a do-over! What if he doesn’t show up?… don’t be stupid, of course he will. He asked you to marry him, not the other way around! Oh god, what if he’s changed his mind? What if I fall flat on my face while walking down the aisle? What if my dress is tucked into my knickers and nobody tells me!?
So many what ifs!!! Rationally I am aware that there is no point stressing that things may not go to plan, because things rarely do. The most important thing is that I marry the love of my life. I know this… but my anxiety says that this is utter bullsh*t.
Post-Wedding blues!?
That’s a thing!? What if I don’t end my day feeling on top of the world? Surely I won’t miss the stressful planning process?! I’m not sure what I imagine married life to be, but I read a lot of about other women saying they suffered from “post-wedding blues”. This doesn’t always make total sense to me, surely you’re spending your days in pure loved up married bliss? Are you not basking in the joy of what you have just achieved?
I can’t imagine that I will miss the days of worrying about what to wear and who to invite.
So. Much. Stress.
I guess it’s okay to feel a little bit of pressure when planning your wedding, but it’s important not to let this overwhelm you. If you don’t want them there- don’t invite them. If you want a vegan cake or a cake wrapped in bacon- you do you boo. Whatever you wear, your happiness will shine through and you will look beautiful.
So a little reminder: Things might not go the way you planned, it might not be exactly how you pictured it, but at the end of the day you are leaving as Husband and Wife. There is nothing more important on your wedding day.
