Mother and baby group. Honestly, I can’t think of anything worse.
The idea of sitting in a room full of all those different types of Mums and their babies sounds horrendous to me, like the worst of the worst. I picture a mother and baby group and the image my mind gives me is almost comical.
There’s the Mary Poppins Mum, practically perfect in every way- and that’s not a petty jab. She really is, or at least she seems to be. She has got her sh*t together. She’s that Mum with the wonderfully behaved kids, who is prepared for every occasion. You’re jealous so a little part of you wants to hate her, but how can you hate someone who is so lovely?
There’s the good old Soccer Mom, she rocks up in her Mom-Mobile (the big ol’ people carrier full of kids toys, random singular shoes and a lot of memories). She might have four of her own kids, but she’s cooking for six because there’s always extras in the house. The kids all know they’re safe and welcome with her.
The working Mum. She’s classy, and chic, and so put together. She drives a nice car and has a showroom of a home, she is giving serious Girl-Boss vibes. We are living for her confidence and her ability to go back to work and juggle it all. She is making it look easy.
The Messy Mum- honestly out of all of them this is the one I find most relatable. Her kids are fed, they’re cared for and loved that’s easy to see… as is the unidentifiable stain on her shirt. Her hair is messy, and she’s worn the same joggers for just a few days too many. She’s the physical embodiment of chaos but she has the biggest heart and the best intentions.
It’s wrong to stereotype, I know that. It’s an amusing picture, but not one I want to be part of or could possibly fit into. So, no. I don’t want to go to a mum and baby group.
But they’re so good for your baby and you might enjoy it!
Literally everyone.
Yea, yea. I know… I’ll give it a go.
So we did.
We went to a mum and baby group.
It was horrible. It was one of those classes where they play lots of loud upbeat music, they switch the lights on and off like they’re trying to cause an epileptic fit. There are bubbles and singing and puppets. There’s a woman bouncing around the place like she’s never consumed anything that wasn’t caffeinated.
It’s a sensory class and a sensory overload.
TinyHuman hated it. I so desperately wanted him to love it, I wanted him to experience being around other babies and enjoying the sensory play time. That’s what you want for them. those babies you love so much. But he wasn’t having none of it. He cried and he grumbled, and he was just not on board.
Secretly, I was kind of glad. The session ended and the woman said “I still have to clean up so take your time to change nappies and feed, have a chat”. They all gathered and instantly they were talking about nappies, pros and cons of breast or bottle, organic baby food pouches. That is not the kind of conversation that I want to be engaging in. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt that out of place and uncomfortable.
We never went back and I promised that I wouldn’t try to push something like that on him again. But then something unexpected happened…
We found the perfect mum and baby group for us!
We found Sing and Sign.
We actually found a mum and baby group that we are excited to go too. Every week for 45 minutes a session we sit in a room with a bunch of other Mums and babies, not ones like my stupid stereotyped imagination.
When we arrived for our first session I walked in gingerly, filled with anticipation about what I was about to walk into but determined to do so for the benefit of my TinyHuman.
I went in and sat as close to the exit as I possibly could, I always have an escape route close.
I was surrounded by six other Mothers. Two on my left and four on my right. The realisation that they were sat in groups of people who knew each other was a daunting one.
I am the stranger.
I was so nervous, but as soon as the class began I felt more at ease. We all sang and signed with our babies, learning as they were and watching in awe as some of them were picking it up.
By the end of the first session TinyHuman was starting to get a little overwhelmed. It was a lot of noise and a lot of babies, but he’d done so good!
At the second session, I walked through the door with only my regular amount of anxiety and TinyHuman was more comfortable being around the other babies learning how to share and interact.
The third session- the most recent we’ve attended, was our favourite so far. The other babies are more used to each other and much more mobile. TinyHuman isn’t having any of it he wants to catch up. So he spent the entire session interacting with other babies and crawling backwards in his desperate attempt to keep up with the others.
It’s a rare occurrence that someone like me- so cynical, anxiety fueled and so sure of what I do not like, looks around and thinks: “well sh*t, I was really wrong about this” and actively enjoys something like this. Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be counting down the days with my child to go to a mother and baby group.
So filled with hatred and anxiety towards all things mother and baby group related, this was a shock. But we love it.
When each new term comes, we’ll find a way to make it work and we’ll be there. So that my TinyHuman can learn to socialise and interact with something other than our dogs and me.
