Every one will tell you that pregnancy is one of the most amazing experiences of your life- and you’ll believe them. You’ll see all of these beautiful pregnant women on TV and in the media, they’re glowing, they look beautiful. They exercise, they eat right they’ve got that beautifully round perky bump, and you just cant wait for that to be you.
In reality… your hips hurt, you’re a grumpy b*tch and you’re just praying to god that you didn’t get sick in your hair. When I was pregnant, the only glow was the shine that thick layer of sweat gave off every time I did strenuous exercise (or simply walked up the stairs).
Everyone has something to say to pregnant people. From unsolicited advice to unwanted opinions, you hear it all. It’s up to you to figure out what to believe.
My unsolicited advice for you? Believe all of it and none of it.
Take it all with a pinch of salt. Some of it sounds so ridiculous it can’t be true, some of it you’ll hear so often it must be true. You’ll hear a lot of old wives tales and out of date parenting practises, but you’ll also hear the latest study on literally anything.
With all the comments you receive while you’re pregnant, there’s always things missed out. There’s always something they didn’t prepare you for.
What we wish we were told while pregnant:
I asked a group of first time Mums what they wish they’d been warned about and here’s how it went.
An extremely large portion of Mum’s stated that they wished they had been warned of the postpartum poo. Honestly, I’m right there with them. Whether their babies were delivered naturally or by c-section, this is the one thing they agreed on. Not a lot feels worse that that first poo. It feels like you’re pushing a porcupine out and you’re terrified you’re going to pop your stitches.
Following up close behind was constipation. I know, I know, it’s all about the poop. But I was not ready for that sh*t! Being a lactose intolerant who loves cheese, struggling to poop has never been a problem in my life until I was pregnant. I think I literally googled whether severe constipation could kill your or not.
Breastfeeding is the most natural thing… but that doesn’t mean it comes naturally. Sone women really struggle to breastfeed- myself included. We survived 48 hours, TinyHuman wouldn’t latch, then he’d latch but not suckle, then it was extremely painful for me. It just wasn’t worth the fuss for us and we gave it up. However, some women really battle to successfully breast feed and honestly I am in awe of them.
Recovery from stitches. I had an episiotomy after TinyHuman’s shoulder got stuck. Recovery from that was horrendous! The acid in your urine makes it sting which is awful, as though having to angle yourself on the loo so you’re not stretching the stitches out isn’t bad enough.
There were many, many more things from hyperemesis graviarium, increased vaginal discharge, and all day morning sickness, right up to not instantly bonding with the baby, and the ridiculous overwhelming hormones that last long after the baby is born.
Check out more things that they wont tell you on this blog by The Strawberry Fountain!
What we wish we’d taken seriously:
Alongside the first question, I asked what people had heard but dismissed either thinking it was ridiculous or that it just might not apply to them.
Unanimously they all agreed on do your pelvic floor exercises. So many woman stated that they didn’t think they’d need too at the time but now they wish they had. Do it. You don’t wanna be having a pee every time you need to cough or sneeze or laugh.
The fourth trimester, I remember thinking how stupid that sounds. Nah, I was wrong- that sh*t is very real. The adjustment is something very, very real, you spend 9 months preparing for your child but you are never really prepared.
They warn you of post-natal depression but no one really discusses how the details of it- no one explains how bad it can get or how different it can be for each person. And, no one tells you that the Dads can get it too!
There are so many things that I didn’t take seriously when I was pregnant, that I feel like I definitely should have… pelvic floor exercises for one!
Finally… things we wish we didn’t hear when we were pregnant.
Everybody has something to say and often they don’t care about whether or not you want to hear it. Often people say things with the best intentions, but you just wanna tell them to “f*ck off”! So I asked about all the things people didn’t want to hear.
My personal pet peeve was the phrase “haven’t you got big!?”– I know that this is a comment about the growth of my baby but please don’t. I’m already very aware of my changing body and while I’m happy my pregnancy is going well I don’t need to be reminded that I’m strutting about in a big ass elasticated waistband, thank you.
Plus the invasive questions, what is that about!? What business of anyone is it whether or not I breastfeed or bottle feed? So long as my baby is fed, clothed, changed, and happy, that is all that matters. Get up out of my grill! “Are you going to have a natural birth or a c-section?” Excuse me!? Who are you and why does the method of my child coming earth side matter to you!? P*ss off.
The out-dated parenting advice! “When I had my children-” let me just cut you off right there lady, when you had your children cars didn’t have seatbelts and smoking was good for you, I don’t think I need to hear your opinion on what is best for my child. Cheers.
Just remember: no one has any right to tell you what you should do when you’re pregnant or with your baby.
So listen to the advice that you want to listen to and disregard what you don’t. You know your body, and you know your child, don’t let people pressure you into thinking anything different.
